grandma shit on top of the toilet
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
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