he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
