I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
