i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
