I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
