I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Every concussion has its silver lining
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
