Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Randomize
