Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
