Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
