Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
