Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
