you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Randomize
