sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize
