yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
