She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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