i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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