She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
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