Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
this hospital has no fireball
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
