Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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