Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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