He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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