i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
my sisters under your porch take her home
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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