Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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