butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
