i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
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I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
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If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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