chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
