East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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