i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
