He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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