Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
