quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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