Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
