You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
