I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
