my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
