I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
