my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
