O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
