...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize