and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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