it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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