From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
