and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
