Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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