Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
