real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
