I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize