It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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