Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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