Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
