Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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