Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
We left the knife in your bed.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
i need some magic done to my vagina
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
