I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I fill condoms, not promises.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You don't make any sense
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