i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
