we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
