so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
do nipples grow back?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
