Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
