11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
