Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
