Taylor Swift is so right about you.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
