you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
