Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
