Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
